Adult son living at home takes a 20-minute shower every day at 7:30 AM in a 5-person house with 1 bathroom, father forces him to change his routine: 'I don't think twenty minutes is too long'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 5, 2025 10:00 PM EST

A morning routine is incredibly important to keep, especially in the cold months. Life can throw a lot at you over the course of the day, and you have to be prepared for it. The best way to do this is to have a morning routine that you love and can stick to. Maybe you wake up a little early so you can read a few pages of a novel before work. Maybe you have a suite of skincare products that you spend time using. Maybe there's a local coffee shop that you frequent that makes the best lattes the world has ever seen. But it doesn't have to be anything fancy. Maybe you just take a shower. 

In life, there are morning showerers and there are night showerers. Each side is convinced that they're the right one, and it's hard to switch sides. Night showerers love the feeling of being clean in bed, washing away the grime of the day, unwinding as you go. Morning showerers love that it helps them wake up and feel ready to take on the day. The son in this story was a morning showerer, but his family didn't quite love that. 

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  • A man brushes his teeth in the bathroom, looking in the mirror.
    via Unsplash+ (Natalia Blauth)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In a house with a bunch of people and only one shower, fights are bound to break out. Bathroom time is sacred, and if you don't feel like you can get that, then everything falls apart. One family was facing that problem, but the son was unwilling to change his routine. Read on to see whether you think that was justified.

  • Am I wrong for taking a shower every day at 7:30?

    For context, I (early twenties) live with my family of 5 other people and we all share one bathroom. I always take my shower at the exact same time every morning and I'm usually in there for about 20 minutes tops. Before I take my shower, I let everyone who's awake know I'm doing so and give them the opportunity to use the bathroom.
    via u/Old-Constant-1583
  • Now, my father (nearing 50) has begun throwing a fit about this. He says, and I quote, "I have a morning routine too, I drink my coffee and I have to take a shit after, I don't know when I'm gonna have to shit." He wants me to take my showers after I get home from work, instead of in the mornings, because that's what he does.
    via u/Old-Constant-1583
  • | My mother thinks I should just wake up earlier so I can take a shower at 7, before he wakes up. think that's ridiculous because I don't leave for work until 8:30 and that would fuck with my entire sleeping schedule and morning routine. I'd be sitting here with my thumb up my ass for at least an hour before I can even leave for work.
    via u/Old-Constant-1583
  • And before anyone says 'just move out', please just know I would if I could. Edit: adding some extra info here, I USED to take a shower at 7:45, so I've already pushed my time back by 15 minutes, but then I am still in there until around 7:45-7:50 so...
    via u/Old-Constant-1583
  • Editing this again because I'm personally disregarding any message who complains that I'm an adult living with family, clearly you're coming in here with bias. I'm one of two adult children living here and I'm the only one one who actually works. I contribute to bills and I pay for my own shit. It has absolutely nothing to do with this post, not everyone is afforded the
    via u/Old-Constant-1583
  • same privilege as you. If you wanna bitch at anyone to move out, talk to my 20 yo sister who refuses to move in with her boyfriend she hates and won't get a job because of 'social anxiety'.
    via u/Old-Constant-1583
  • Final edit for clarification. The 20 minutes isn't JUST shower time. I use the bathroom, brush my teeth, shave and shower in 20 minutes. Second of all, no I don't pay rent or utilities (which is 500 a month as far as I know) my dad pays that and we both buy food for the house. Without going into detail, I do contribute about 650 a month
    via u/Old-Constant-1583
  • across everything I help with. (No I will not itemize that, yes it is being generous.) And again, I'm one of two adult children living here and the only one contributing ANYTHING at all. Not that any of this has to do with my bathroom usage.
    via u/Old-Constant-1583
  • A young man washes his face in the sink.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters had mixed feeling about this situation.

    IsabelRex 2h ago These comments are tripping me out. A 20 minute shower is NOT long?? Washing your hair, body, maybe shaving or whatever the routine is, using the bathroom for 20 minutes at the same time everyday is probably the most convenient way to do it. If your dad has to shit immediately after
    via u/IsabelRex
  • drinking his coffee, he can wait 10 minutes into your shower and start drinking it so when you're done he can go right in. NTA, you're not just living with family, you're an adult sharing space with other adults and it sounds like paying your share, I see no reason he can't also be an
    via u/IsabelRex
  • adult and make sure if he's going to eat or drink something he KNOWS upsets his stomach, he's doing so when he knows the bathroom is available.
    via u/IsabelRex
  • ConfectionExtra7869 · 2h ago NTA. Your routine is well known by this point, and you give people the opportunity to use the bathroom before you shower. I don't think waking up 30 minutes earlier is going to make much of a difference because your father wants you to shower in the evening. For the sake of peace and a little good faith, you could try waking up at 7 (or 7:15) and see how it plays out.
    via u/ConfectionExtra7869
  • Icy_Coffee_5920 · 2h ago YTA I say this lightly because I don't think this makes you a literal asshole BUT when you share a house with other people you have to make compromises and accommodations. It does not matter how long you've been
    via u/Icy_Coffee_5920
  • doing it. If you expect them to meet your schedule demands why can't you meet theirs? I'm sure there is a compromise that can be reached and honestly if taking a shower every morning is important to you I don't think waking up a little earlier is a huge ask.
    via u/Icy_Coffee_5920
  • Esham 2h ago • 20min shower at 730am wouldn't fly in my house and it's just myself and my wife and child. Everyone uses the bathroom in the morning. Yta to think you can always shower that long everyday at that time in a house of 5.
    via u/Esham
  • Abject-Cranberry 59... .1h ago People thinking 20 minutes is a long shower are yall ok?
    via u/Abject-Cranberry5941
  • Linkcott18 • 2h ago ESH. To be honest it's a little hard to judge here. We don't know when everyone leaves or needs the bathroom. That said, it is somewhat inconsiderate to use that much time in the bathroom during a high demand period in a large household.
    via u/Linkcott18
  • Your dad has a fair point, even if he doesn't communicate it well, and these things get... less predictable as we age. Maybe an alternative would be to take shorter showers?
    via u/Linkcott18
  • hiatitae 2h ago Nta. 20mins is reasonable for anyone with hair to wash. I take about 20mins for my showers and my hair isn't even past my shoulder blades. And I'm not using 5 different products either, just shampoo and conditioner. That whole process takes up half my shower, easy.
    via u/hiatitae
  • Truth Seeker963 • 2h ago . YTA. Your dad is experiencing some issues that he doesn't want to discuss, and seems frustrated to not have freedom in his own house after all these years. Move your shower back to 7 and adjust your sleep schedule; compromise is what adults do. Life is too short to cause drama over something so petty.
    via u/Truth_Seeker963
  • • spellbunny ⚫ 2h ago Soft YTA. When you live with other people, whether its family or roommates and there's only one bathroom, it's polite to do a military shower during peak times, in and out. Save the 20 minute showers for when no one is around.
    via u/spellbunny
  • Few_Step_7444 • 2h ago 20 minutes is too long in a shared bathroom in the morning when everyone needs to get ready for work, including going to the toilet before they go. What takes 20 minutes? You don't need to get ready in there. Just have your shower, which should take less than 10 minutes, then go to your room to get dressed and ready.
    via u/Few_Step_7444
  • marunkaya ⚫1h ago It's so funny to see how United Stateans think "well why you're a full adult living with your parents???" is a valid argument, when it's just absurd. Idk man, life ain't a peach, you guys prefer your children to live in cars in the street than letting them live in a house because they're "grown" now. The hell is wrong with you.
    via u/marunkaya
  • NTA. Everyone in the house has a routine. Having 1 bathroom in a house of 5 is actually nuts? But all in all, in my country, old houses used to have one bath and... Nobody died for waiting. It is inconvenient? Yeah. But EVERYONE deserves some private time in the bathroom. Twenty minutes is actually nothing. OP can shower at any time of the day, but they want to shower in the morning. Period.
    via u/marunkaya
  • If they were using the bathroom for an hour while everybody waited, that would be a issue. And people don't need to pay bills in the house to be treated as human beings with needs.
    via u/marunkaya
  • Far_Grapefruit_8220 1h ago . Holy shit you're getting some absolutely wild responses here. What time does your dad get up and drink a coffee? In an ideal world you'd want to be getting in the shower as he gets up (probably? Timing wise?). If that's what's happening now then great!
    via u/Far_Grapefruit_8220
  • I do think you should try and squeeze down the time it all takes a bit, but I don't know how long shaving takes, so maybe that's not possible? NAH really, but definitely NTA
    via u/Far_Grapefruit_8220
  • Daisy-Head-Maisie 2h ago ESH. I don't think twenty minutes is too long, but I can understand your father wanting his routine to be dominant in a household he pays for.
    via u/Daisy-Head-Maisie
  • You compromising is simply one of the parts of living with family in adulthood, regardless of how necessary it is for your situation. It's really not that big of a deal to get up thirty minutes earlier, even if it involves sleeping that much earlier too.
    via u/Daisy-Head-Maisie
  • As for your wasted time in the mornings, find a simple hobby like reading a book or doing a sudoku or crossword, or crocheting while listening to a podcast, etc. Something that isn't time sensitive and can be set aside easily.
    via u/Daisy-Head-Maisie

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morning routine living at home aita AITAH brother siblings money problems shower reddit story family feud family sibling sister reddit thread Reddit home money showering Father
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